Are You Tuned In?

 

 

radio Are You Tuned In?

Have you ever noticed yourself being the worst possible version of you? I have done a lot of noticing what I am noticing lately. Let me share a story with you. I had been waiting for my new eye glasses to come in. Last week the frames arrived and they were broken and had to be returned to the factory.  Yesterday they called and said here they are. I had gotten a new prescription and now it was several weeks and I am really annoyed because I can’t see very well out of my old glasses. The person who had previously waited on me had given me the cost. A new gentleman rang it up and it was $200 more. Needless to say I was upset and told him so.  But I could see how unfriendly, nasty I was being. I asked myself who do I want to be? If it all worked out perfectly what would that person do? Well I changed my attitude and inquired how long he had worked there and changed the energy of the experience. The manager came over and reduced the cost to the original price I was quoted.

Fast forward a few hours and I picked up the mail. I had been waiting for some checks, actual refunds from my airline travel insurance. When mom got sick and I had to change my reservations. The airline charged me additional money and I wanted to be reimbursed, isn’t that why you buy trip insurance. Well I did not get what I thought I deserved. I went into a tail spin. When I get upset, my first response is food, drown my feelings in vast quantities of food even if it healthy and good for you.

After I calmed down a few hours later. I knew there was something I needed to look at. I was so mad at myself, beating myself up for eating and my “unskilled behavior today.” Through my mindfulness practices I noticed twice today the same core message showed up.  “Life is hard, you have to fight for everything, the world is not to be trusted. ” I knew I did not want these messages running my life anymore so I dug in.  So I started tracing it back to some real old stories about deserving easy and effortless. (Here is part of my inner dialogue, maybe you can relate)

“I can’t believe this is happening again. I am so sick and tired of this experience. Everyone else seems to have it easy. They say they want something and it miraculously appears, happens. They are lucky. I have never been lucky. I must have done something really bad to have this repeatedly be my path.”

I have been blessed with some wonderful coaches and I stay in a container of success; study people I admire,  read books, listen to positive tapes, I have a cadre of tools. This one comes from Joe Vitale, The Attractor Factor on  page 127. To clear old messages and beliefs he suggests this practice:

Dear Spirit please locate the origins of the feelings and thoughts you want to release. Write them down. Take each and every level, layer and area analyze resolve it perfectly in God’s truth… Come forward in time healing every incident based upon the foundation of the first…until I am at present filled with the light and the truth, Gods’ peace and love, forgiveness of myself…With total forgiveness and unconditional love I delete the old from my DNA, release it and now let it go…I feel and fill in the blank ( I am attracting into my life calm, peace, riches that will make my life easier and allow me to expand into a greater version of myself doing work I love in the world. I am a vibrational match for easy and effortless.) I allow every …problem and inappropriate behavior based on the old feelings to quickly disappear. Thank you Spirit for coming to my aid and attain the full measure of my creation. THANK YOU.

Are you tuned in?  What messages are running your life? Please share how you clear limiting beliefs.

Eliminate the Monkey Chatter in Your Head

monkey chatter

Eliminate The Monkey-Chatter in Your Head

There are only 79 days left in this year. Have you reached your goals? Are you any closer to writing that book, losing a hundred pounds, finding the love of your life or getting that promotion at work?  When you think about what you did not accomplish what do you say to yourself?  Who would buy your book anyway? I have lived alone so long I would not want to compromise. Why try I will never have a perfect body. I would have to go back to school for that job and I can’t afford it. “

 

We all have negative voices in our head.  For some they are subtle, passive, and even deceive us into thinking they are there to protect us and keep us safe.  For others, they are much more aggressive, and downright mean.  Sometimes we are aware of their words and influence of the monkey chatter.  Most other times we are oblivious to their destructive messages , and they impact our beliefs, sense of self, motivation, and happiness.

 

One of the best ways to become savvy to the negative inner voices in your head is to practice mindfulness: to notice what you notice.  To be more mindful means to be more aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions in the present moment.

The problem with not being mindful of our thoughts is that we treat our thoughts as facts. We just simply accept whatever comes into our mind as truth without giving it a second thought. And we have these thoughts so often that we believe them as fact. But really a thought is not a fact.  A thought is just a thought. And when they are destructive (which they mostly are), they have very negative ramifications.

You may have the thought “I am no good at this,” or “I’m fat,” or “I’m not smart enough,” or “Nobody understands me,” or even “I don’t deserve love” Does thinking it make it so?  Once or twice, probably not. But if we think it enough, our mind will accept it as truth. It will affect your ability to take consistent actions toward your goals. It will keep us stuck in the status qua.

Changing our thought begins with noticing what you notice. Being simply present and aware. To improve your mindfulness, try this activity.

Activity: Notice What Your Noticing

Start this activity with mindfulness of your breath.  Focus specifically on your breath –slowly in and out. Pay attention to how it feels as you inhale through nose. Does it tickle? Is it cool or warm?  Speak the words in your mind. “I breathe in deeply, filling my lungs, and then exhale slowly, emptying my lungs.” Do this three times.

Then as you continue to breathe, allow yourself to notice any thoughts that come into your head. Pay attention to these thoughts without judgment. Thoughts are just thoughts – it’s whatever is going on in your mind at this particular moment.

It may sound like this:

“This is different – O.K. I’m going to do this.  I can hear the ambulance going by. There is spider crawling down the wall.  Breathing in, exhaling out.  Ouch, my neck hurts.  I should just get back to work.  There’s me thinking about work again. This is stupid. Give yourself a break for a minute.”

Then it may go to something like “I’m sitting here thinking of my thoughts…  O.K.  It’s a beautiful day.  My stomach is hungry.  I have to grocery shopping. How am I going to get the kids to the dentist and back to work on time? Hmmm, I can’t do this very well.”

These are all valid, normal thoughts. And very often they are all over the place like the example you just read.  Allow yourself time to think about your thoughts. Don’t rush, don’t judge, and don’t stop.  Find curiosity, interest and even humor in your thoughts.

Imagine yourself lying on the grass watching your thoughts float by like clouds in the sky. Notice each passing thought and then the one that comes after it, and then the one that comes after that. You may notice that just at the moment you become aware of a thought, it passes and is replaced by another thought. That’s what happens – thoughts come, and they go.

Finally, to end this exercise bring yourself back to the awareness of your breath.

The value in this exercise is to realize first how little attention we pay to our thoughts, yet how extremely powerful they are.  Learning to notice what we notice can lead us to better control our thoughts and ultimately serve us better.

Please share how you eliminate the monkey chatter?

Dream Big, Live on Purpose, Be Unstoppable

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Love Makes Your Life A Winning Adventure!

always based on love

 

Love Makes Your Life A Winning Adventure!

What does it mean  love makes your life a winning adventure? I received this email today and as I read it I cried. I hope these stories inspire you to think about  LOVE  and CONNECTIONS and what is really important in life. While you are reading them ask yourself the following questions: What do you value? What is your definition of success? Who do you want to spend your time with? Who do you need to thank? Who do you need to forgive? How can you be more loving? When was the last time you said I love you?

1.  Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class.  When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.”
 2. Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70s- what his top 3 tips are for success.  He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.”
 3.   Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to meat the grocery store and gave me a hug.   When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001,  you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”
 4.  Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying.  And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.
5.  Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”
 6. Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed.   About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.
 7. Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling.  I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.”   I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?”  Because that’s where  I keep all my stuff,” she said.
 8. Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics,  I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.
 9. Today, a boy in a wheelchair  saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the  way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”
 10.  Today, I was feeling down because the results of a biopsy came back malignant.  When I got home, I opened an e-mail that said, “Thinking of you today.  If you need me, I’m a phone call away.”  It was from a high school friend I hadn’t seen in 10 years.
 11. Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy.  Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said  was, “We can share it.”
 As we know, the best sermons are lived, not preached. What is one step you are going to take today to make LOVE  your  winning adventure.?

How Do You Create A Bold Vision For Success in 2015?

oprah vision

 

How do you create a bold vision for success?

 

There are three steps to creating a bold vision for success.

1. Clarify your intentions

Ask yourself a series of questions.  Write the answers in your journal.

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2015?
What would you like to evolve most about yourself in 2015?
How would you like to make a difference in the world?
What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2015?
What would you be most happy completing in 2015?
What advice would you give yourself?
What is the most loving service you can imagine in 2015?
What compliment would you like to receive?
What is the grandest adventure you can imagine?
What would you like to experience more of in 2015?
What would you like to explore or create in 2015?
What makes your heart sing?

2.Imagine  yourself one year from today.

What does your life like look? What does it feel like? Who are you if you have been successful? Imagine you are having coffee with an old friend and you are telling her about your year. Write your vision including as many details, feeling, and experiences as if they all came true.  Oh Mary let me share what an exiting year I had.  I published The Creative Activist in June. What a thrill it was to see the numbers from Amazon each week as they climbed to the top of the charts. I had a number one best seller in Personal Growth and Leadership category.  The launch party was so much fun. The DJ I hired played all my favorite songs, Celebrate, Let it Go, Climb. I got to dance with my granddaughters and Ali brought the baby. We got some great family photos to send to mom.

3. Create a vision board.

What is a Vision Board?

A vision board (also called a Treasure Map or Dream Board) is typically a poster board on which you paste or collage images and words from magazines, cards or Pinterest that inspire you. The theory is that you surround yourself with images of what you want to have in your life or images of who you want to become. They are really simple to do and very powerful.

There are two types of vision boards. The first is for opening and allowing and the other is when you know what you want to manifest. I have been doing both types for many years.

When I went through a deep depression in my mid-thirties I could not see any way out. I did not know what joy and happiness could look like so I collected images of pictures that made me smile. I put them in a book and I spent time every day looking at them and it freed my mind to consider something new and different. I eventually came to the other side. Before I ever thought of interviewing over 120 leaders around the country and becoming a speaker and a radio show host I created a vision board of Oprah and other influential leaders I admired like Eve Ensler who wrote the Vagina Monologue and started a movement. I put this in my office and looked at it all the time.                         vision board

In 2013, I decided it was time to release 50 pounds and get active and I made a specific board that had images of me at a thinner weight that I put on the fridge and one with images and words such as “it is safe to lose weight” in the bathroom where I could see it all the time. Since then I have lost 60 pounds.

Last year I created a vision to write The Creative Activist: One Person Can Make A Difference. I will have the first draft finished by Dec. 31st, 2014. Having a powerful vision, written and visual, keeps me motivated and inspired when I hit “road blocks”. We all have days like that but looking at my vision board on Pinterest just makes me smile. It reminds me who I am serving, my work matters and I can contribute to making the world a better place.

Supplies for Creating a Vision Board:

Poster board

Manila envelopes to collect materials

Scissors

Glue sticks, rubber cement or fabric glue Markers, gel pens, glitter pens

Photographs of you

A big stack of different magazines as well as different kinds of paper: post cards, gift wrap, stamps, maps, calendars

The Seven Steps of Creating a Vision Board:

Step 1: Go through your magazines and pull out pictures, words or headlines that strike your fancy. Have fun with it. Don’t censure yourself. If an image or word appeals just tear it out. I know many people like to use a scissors, but ripping is important to the experience. It increases your creativity, imagination and intuition. You can trim them later.

Step 2: Go through the images and see if any themes emerge. I was working with a client and she was amazed that what began as a general” I don’t know what I want to do with my career”… blossomed into something very specific based on the images she choose. It actually brought her clarity.

Step 3: Eliminate any images that no longer feel right.

Step 4: Glue everything onto the board. You can add writing, stickers, glitter or other materials.

Step 5. Title it

Step 6: Hang your vision board in a place where you will see it often.

Step 7. Spend time looking at it and journal about your experience. What feelings and thoughts have come to the surface? What action steps or strategies have emerged from the images?

If a traditional vision board does not resonate try these options.

Mandala

Mandala is the Sanskrit word for magic circle. Throughout history it has been part of spiritual and religious practices from Buddhist monks to Native American medicine men. Draw a circle within a circle. In the smaller inner circle put a picture of you as your most happy and radiant self and fill in the images in the larger circle what you want. Sometimes I place a spiritual icon or a peaceful image such as a lotus flower in the center.

Pinterest

Over the last few years I dove deep into Pinterest. I have boards about confidence, success, gratitude and forgiveness.I just finished creating a three year Vision Board. They never fail to inspire me and put a smile on my face. http://www.pinterest.com/dazzlingdivarae/

 

What is your bold vision of success in 2015?actions

 

Tags: vision boards, personal growth, creativity, success

 

 

 

 

One Person Can Make A Difference

be the change

Do you believe one person can make a difference to the world?

Many people believe that they don’t have what it takes to make a difference to the world. They believe only people like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, or celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Oprah or George Clooney are capable of making a difference.

The truth is, every one of us is put on this earth to contribute and make a difference to the world in our own unique way. It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale, it just has to be with the intention of making the world a better place, doing a little bit of good.

Here are some of my favorite quotes to inspire you.
I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. – Mother Teresa
If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write. – Martin Luther King, Jr.
A tiny change today brings a dramatically different tomorrow. – Richard Bach
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. – William James
You really can change the world if you care enough. – Marian Wright Edelman.
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. – Leo Tolstoy
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better it’s not. Dr. Seuss

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. – Nelson Mandela
You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. – Richard Buckminster Fuller

 Look into your child’s eyes. Stop what you are doing, sit down, and just look into them. Do that every day and you will change the world. Noel Cocca
It takes a better man to acknowledge goodness in others than it does to merely be good oneself. Anyone can criticize or accept praise, but initiating a positive exchange is a hallmark of a difference maker. Scott Berkun

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. – Anne Frank

Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. – Barack Obama

change-the-world steve jobs

If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one. – Mother Theresa

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Buddha

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own– Benjamin Disraeli
There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world. Terry Pratchett
I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference. Ellen Goodman

What is one small difference you can make?  We all have a sphere of influence. Every day we interact with people, the bus driver, the cashier, our families and co-workers. Smile, say hello, and bless them silently with the good health, happiness and peace.  Become a messenger of peace.  firmly believe one person can make a difference.

 

Do you have other suggestions on how we can make a difference to the world? Please share them in the comment section below.